Monday, February 13, 2006

St. Valentine, Cupid, Osama and Murgha!!


February 14, mostly referred to as Valentine's Day, unsuccessful in finding its actual history and traditions, yet celebrated across many cultures and countries across the globe, makes its mark on us yet again, without failing. Just when we are all surrounded by high energy prices, low productivity rates, corrupt politians, the governments that are spying on their own citizens, new plots of terrorism being broadcasted by the President, civilizations clashing with each other and the entire global order going in disarray, all is not lost. Don't fear, St. Valentine is here with his scantly-dressed friend Cupid and they are both here so that we can focus on issues that will be directly affecting us in a day or so. Iran may have nukes, Hamas may threat Israel but there is nothing worse than the wrath of your partner, expecting gifts, chocolates and flowers. Simple excuses like 'I made a donation on your behalf to the Hurricane Katrina Fund' or 'Your valentine day gift is ME' may result in irreparable damage!

Surprisingly it is also the only day that Homeland Security doesn't offer overtime to its over-worked employees, since its the only calendar day yet untargetted by Osama Bin Laden. Either, Osama is too busy trying to locate the nearby Hallmark's store in Afghanistan or he is simply too scared to call upon the anger of his four wives, combined. Whatever the case maybe, its truly considered a relatively 'safe' day in the post 9-11 world, thanks to St. Valentines.

However, its not so safe for the murghas since this is the day when love is truly judged by the size of the gift and the brand of chocolates. Its not only the day when the lovers celebrate their love and profess their true feelings to each other, but its also a day when they don't feel shy to contribute $1.3 billion dollars towards the economy, according to the National Retail Federation. A great national service rendered by no other than St. Valentine and Cupid; even Batman and Robin could not have done the same for the economy. Greeting Cards Association also informs us that over 1 billion Valentine Cards are purchased around Valentine's day. A surprising fact is that 85% of those valentine cards are purchased by women. Hence, the murghas of the day are not only the males but the women are also made into a murgha by St. Valentine and Cupid.

Yet its a more troubling day for the murghas who are courting more than one lover at the same time. Nancy Keates of Wall Street Journal interestingly points out that its a crisis day for cheaters: "Valentine's Day is the biggest single 24-hour period for florists, a huge event for greeting-card companies and a boon for candy makers. But it's also a major crisis day for anyone who is having an affair." Another industry benefiting from the St. Valentine's business savvy approach is the private investigator's business. "If anything is going on, it will be happening on that day," says Irene Smith, who says business at her Discreet Investigations detective agency, as much as doubles - to as many as 12 cases some years - on Valentine's Day.

Murgha Website of the Day: Cupid Cupid Bush Valentine
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6 Comments:

At 2/13/2006 5:04 PM,

Oh, my gosh! How many themes do you have going in this post?? What's scary for me is that I'm actually following you. LOL! This is definitely not your warm and fuzzy Valentine's Day post. This  is funny - and very clever! Homeland Security sends its love. ;-) 

Posted by DCS

 

At 2/14/2006 1:03 AM,

You're such a romantic. :-) 

Posted by DCS

 

At 2/14/2006 4:56 PM,

Help me Abrar. Teach me how to satisfy four wives on one day. Roses are sooo expensive in Afghanistan and I would like to pick the cards myself but its too risky to do that. Hallmark is in downtown Kabul! 

Posted by Osama

 

At 2/14/2006 9:51 PM,

So... did you get a Valentine card from Osama this year? :P 

Posted by RaY-ZoR

 

At 2/15/2006 12:25 AM,

Osama: Having problems satisfying FOUR wives!! Just outsource it to India.... I am sure they will do a good job at it and cost less!! As far as sending the card, then google Hallmark!!

 

Posted by Abrar

 

At 3/10/2006 1:58 PM,

I can take care of the youngest wife of Osama. I will work for less than 10 US$ per hour and am ready to work on weekends. No problem in OT. 

Posted by Kumar

 

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