Thursday, March 16, 2006

Oops......... Bush Did it Again!!


With every passing day, President Bush and his administration is getting ready to prepare itself for yet another 'pre-emptive strike' on a sovereign and independent state in Middle East - Iran. Iran, previously only known for its expensive Persian rugs is also responsible for the existence of Queen's famous lead singer, Freddie Mercury. However, recently Iran has been making headline news around the hour for a very different set of reasons - a desire to develope nuclear technology and a desire to build nuclear reactors for 'civilan' use. However, those in the White House do not see at par with Iran's desires and have been forced to make use of the good old cold-war era threats.

All the bickering and threatening from the government officials seems uncannily familiar to the recent "liberation" of Iraq on the pre-text of Weapons of Mass Destruction(WMD). Almost as familiar and popular as Britney Spear's debut single, Oops... I did it Again. President Bush has seemingly learnt more Foreign Policy matters from Mrs. Spears than any other available resource. Absurd but provable argument, as evident from the Foreign Policy guidelines the President is advocating.

Following is the current administration's 10-week course guideline on foreign policy:

FOREIGN POLICY 101

Week 1: How to create a foreign catastrophe in order to divert citizens' attention from domestic political upheavals.
Week 2: Funding terrorist organizations in order to carry out the Global Agenda.
Week 3: If there is Oil, then they have the nukes.
Week 4: Destabilizing a Democratic but Unfriendly Country - an introduction.

Guest Lecture: Britney Spears on "Using 'Oops.. I did it Again' to your advantage."

Week 6: Using Media to sell the War.
Week 7: Ten Essentials of using Weapons of Mass Destruction for any invasion.
Week 8: Nuclear Proliferation - using it to your own advantage.
Week 9: Golden Rules of avoiding International Court of Justice in face of Prisoner Abuse Scandals.

Guest Lecture: Donald Rumsfeld on "Keeping it cool despite Demands for Resignation".

Week 11(optional): Creating a consensus at United Nations. *
Week 12(optional): Understanding the root causes of International Terrorism.*

* Note: None of the adminstration staff has yet attended these optional sessions.


Cross-posted at: Desicritics.org
Tagged : , ,

13 Comments:

At 3/16/2006 8:36 PM,

Amazing piece of writing! 

Posted by DCS

 

At 3/16/2006 8:38 PM,

Good job! Fantastic piece of writing! By the way, I thought Freddy Mercury was originally of Indian descent? 

Posted by RaY-ZoR

 

At 3/16/2006 11:05 PM,

His parents were Indian Parsis but he was born in Zanzibar (Tanzania) and they practiced Zoroastrianism... how does one characterise all that?  

Posted by Maryam

 

At 3/17/2006 2:11 AM,

Kindly tell Gergie and his staff to stop copying from some of Indian policies meant for internal or what the call Home Ministry. I strongly object on following ones.

How to blame a foreign, read Pakistan, country for anything and everything going wrong.
Destabilizing a elected state govt.

Using Media to sell the tapes and CDs of allied parties.
Indian Constitution - using it to your own advantage.
Golden Rules of avoiding Court of Justice in face of of anything or everything. Be it Jessica Lal or fodder scam.

Creating a consensus to stop any thing that goes against political leaders and setups in India. Banning Sting operations and harassing genuine journos.

There are more points that has been stolen and copied from our setup. Kindly note this is not a good thing for a country like US to promote piracy, it suites only to People's Republic China.
Kindly pass my protest to your pal Georgie. 

Posted by Kumar

 

At 3/17/2006 2:19 AM,

thankfully i got introduced to Wolfmother's music today. Its taken the place of britney's Oops i did it again in my mind. phew!  

Posted by Maryam

 

At 3/17/2006 5:52 PM,

Why do you Indians like to spew filth on Pakistan all the time? It's not like your country is without it's problems. You have issues in Nagaland, Andaman and Nicobar, Assam, Nepal, Kashmir, Sikhs, caste issues, religious intolerance, etc etc. Have you forgotten the destruction of the Babri Masjid, or the ruthless massacre of Sikhs at the Golden temple? You Indians have a history of meddling in other people's matters, just as your government did in Sri Lanka and then paid the price for it.

The list of issues that your wretches nation faces are monumental compared to those of Pakistan. The only reason why Pakistan faces today's issues of terrorism is because of the permeable border between Afghanistan and Pakistan. Ever since the borders were openened to facilitate the transport of CIA arms and resources through Pakistan to the Mujahideen during the cold war, it has been abused to no extent.

On the other hand, India faces rebellion from within their own people. Of course, India uses brute force to subjugate the people who resist bowing down to the imperialistic policies of the Hindu-dominated government. Human rights violation in India are far higher than most under-developed nations. Don't forget that India is still underdeveloped and a majority of Indian people live below the poverty line.

So Mr. Kumar, it would be best for you if you stuck to resolving issues that afflict your own nation because by God, the list is as lengthy as it gets, and STOP concerning yourself with matters across your own borders.  

Posted by RaY-ZoR

 

At 3/18/2006 2:01 AM,

Rayzor:: I think your taking the worng meaning of Kumar's comments!! He is hilself indicating how Indian Foriegn Policy is similar to what I wrote ( true in certain cases).....

We all have problems, Indian, Pakistan, USA!! We all are carrying our own "Vendetas" (And yes, I am planning to see V for Vendeta, lol).

But we should bring these issues out and see what the governments are doing. Idealistic, it may sound, but we should stand up for truth. Its so common for India to blame their problems on Pakistan-based Militant groups and similarly we have a fashion in Pakistan to link everything to Al-Qaeda and Afghanistan.

Lets look deeply within ourselves and try to resolve the various issues of our own people in different parts of the world. For USA, its a bigger challenge at its responsibility spreads more globally.

Kumar:: I shall forward your message to Georgie regaring your complain. Indeed its against WTO rules to be invovled in piracy. Whats his email address?? Maybe Sheikh Mo would know!! LOL 

Posted by Abrar Siddiqui

 

At 3/18/2006 2:19 AM,

Hi RaY-ZoR
Glad to know your reactions. Nothing new. All my Pakistani friends have the same point of view. Its not your fault. Its my fault. I tend to poke my nose into all these matters. And then end up explaining my point of view. Let me again try to express my point of view. I will welcome your points also.

Why do you Indians like to spew filth on Pakistan all the time? It's not like your country is without it's problems. You have issues in Nagaland, Andaman and Nicobar, Assam, Nepal, Kashmir, Sikhs, caste issues, religious intolerance, etc etc. Have you forgotten the destruction of the Babri Masjid, or the ruthless massacre of Sikhs at the Golden temple? You Indians have a history of meddling in other people's matters, just as your government did in Sri Lanka and then paid the price for it.
True. Very much true. IPKF or Indian Peace keeping Force was India’s try to be what Georgie is doing in Iraq. Any way I as an Indian regret sending our soldiers to any other country. This is my personal view point. Now the govts don’t function on my view point. There are many hidden things that forces govts to do these kind of things. Regarding temples and mosques being demolished, insurgency operations taking place in north eastern states of India, sorry to say this happens in any other country too. Do I need to cite examples of things happening in Pakistan? No I don’t need to. That will be me poking nose into another country’s affairs. Although I never consider Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Bhutan and Tibet as other countries. But that’s again my personal view.

The list of issues that your wretches nation faces are monumental compared to those of Pakistan. The only reason why Pakistan faces today's issues of terrorism is because of the permeable border between Afghanistan and Pakistan. Ever since the borders were openened to facilitate the transport of CIA arms and resources through Pakistan to the Mujahideen during the cold war, it has been abused to no extent.
You said it and I don’t need to repeat. This is Pakistan’s problem. Let them solve it and I am sure they will be able to solve it.

On the other hand, India faces rebellion from within their own people. Of course, India uses brute force to subjugate the people who resist bowing down to the imperialistic policies of the Hindu-dominated government. Human rights violation in India are far higher than most under-developed nations. Don't forget that India is still underdeveloped and a majority of Indian people live below the poverty line.
Lets be fair while comparing these two countries in Human Rights. In India still Muslim population is 2nd highest in world. They form the part of bloody Indian political system that is rotting my motherland. And human rights suffer the same way in India as they suffer in any other country. My dear friend stats are just a way to way to prove some thing even if it is false. I can give you more stats that can prove human rights in Pakistan are far more in danger than any place in this Universe.

So Mr. Kumar, it would be best for you if you stuck to resolving issues that afflict your own nation because by God, the list is as lengthy as it gets, and STOP concerning yourself with matters across your own borders.
I didn’t do anything. Read my lines again.
How to blame a foreign, read Pakistan, country for anything and everything going wrong.
Sorry to say you didn’t read the line. I want Indian politicians to stop blaming Pakistan for everything or anything. They use the same way outs to divert attention of PUBLIC from core issues like food and education.
Man, You must agree to one point, US and other big countries are using our small countries for their interest. All issues can be resolved easily.
Think my friend think.
Now to conclude.
I am an atheist. Babri mosque demolition and what happened in Golden temple makes my points to be an atheist stronger. I don’t believe any religion that forces people to kill some one. Let that religion be Islam or Hinduism.
See humor as humor.

PS: I have posted my comments on RaY-ZoR's blog also. 

Posted by Kumar

 

At 3/18/2006 3:30 AM,

My mistake. Apologies for my misinterpretation. Finally, as far as Human rights violation is concerned, your notion that Pakistan is on the top of the list in the entire universe is a highly faltered claim. Genocides are amongst the top human rights violation acts, and mind you, there is no genocide in Pakistan. Also, I think human rights violation in India are much higher as the number of ethnicities that are in opposition to the government is much higher than it is in Pakistan. Don't forget about the lower caste Hindus who number somewhere close to 30 million. I don't think I need to mention that horrendous treatment they get from the upper caste Hindus.

Anyway, Pakistan has it's own issues, no doubt, but it really infuriates me when I hear an outsider poking their noses in a sovreign nation's internal matters and unfortunately, I've had this sort of experience with several Indians. This is probably why I blew a fuse when I read your comment (which of course, I misinterpreted). Anyway, I'm sorry once again. By the way, Pakistan is a sovreign nation and it always will be whether anyone likes it or not. People have to learn to accept it as a harsh reality, if so. 

Posted by RaY-ZoR

 

At 3/18/2006 10:56 AM,

hi RaY-ZoR,
First of all, man its hard to type RaY-ZoR.
2nd thing, keep it kool man. ppl on both sides of the border suffer from a common desease. bad leadership.
3rd, u r not the first pakistani to misstkae me.
4th, I have got lot of personal viewpoints that can agitate anyone, like this one
"Aishwarya Rai and Sharukh Khan both are suckers."
Or this one
I want to be Imran Hashmi
Keep it kool man.
Thand rakho Thand 

Posted by Kumar

 

At 3/18/2006 4:25 PM,

Good stuff boys!!! lets keep it cool!! 

Posted by Abrar Siddiqui

 

At 3/19/2006 12:50 AM,

nice piece of writing!!

btw lol@ imran hashmi abovee 

Posted by jappanun

 

At 3/19/2006 10:42 AM,

Abrar!

hahah,you are really a smartass,you should make some comments on mushie darling's website  and let him know your feelings about his man Bush.

Amazing writing,enjoyed a lot.

Kumar:

Glad to know your reactions. Nothing new. All my Pakistani friends have the same point of view. Its not your fault. Its my fault. I tend to poke my nose into all these matters. 

Well i also get chance to talk indians on different forums and yes most of them react similar like the guy reacted above,but its not his fault or that indian fault who dont miss a chance to make poisonous comment about Pakistan,both pakistani and indians kids have been mentally rapped by text books which aimed to present neighbour country as an "Enemy State". History of India and Pakistan before partition is not same at all,many parts were changed on both sides.

We shoud not hesitate to admit the fact that we are rivals.For india or indians its still painful that pakistan is not part of India anymore,no doubt india is far ahead in many fields but still they are stuck to same point when it comes about Pakistan that is,Pakistan is an enemy state,crush it or take it back(remember adwani's statments about confedration).I know many indians who are hope of some riot in Balochistan and its sepration like it happened in 1971,why its like that?its just media game,we blame americnas as "Media kids" but we dont look at ourselves that how seamlessly we have been ruined by our politicians.

anyways i can just hope that ppl of both sides use some brain for their better future. 

Posted by Adnan Siddiqi

 

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